This Thursday I am going to a Bible study at our church. The book is “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst, and after reading the first three chapters I know I am going to love it!
So why am I writing about this? Because this book has given me so many thoughts of so many stories in my life that fit with the information Lysa shares in her delightful book. From experience both in attending and leading studies, I know that one person who always shares gets pretty tiresome to the leader and others of the group. So I usually just make little notes in the sidelines of the book and indicate the insights and stories that leap into my mind. Then at the study I chicken out from sharing. Or I talk too much, and it doesn;t come out the way I want it to.
But this time, I decided to record them into the blog; after all it is entitled “The Life He Gave Me”, and those stories are what my life is!
The first quote (written in elegant calligraphy) that caught my heart was:
‘We must not confuse the command to love with the desire to please’
Ouch. For the majority of my life I have been a major people pleaser precisely for that reason. I believed that God wanted me to show my love for Him by making other people happy. Never mind the fact that it isn’t usually my job to make others happy, it often isn’t even possible! Nevertheless, I lived a boundary-less life where if someone asked me to do something, I felt I had to do it, and usually right now! My family suffered, by temperment suffered, I suffered. And it was never enough.
I think that certain types of people must be able to sense us ‘people pleasers’ and see that big “ask me, I can’t say no” sign that must be taped to our backs. Because however how much we do, and how perfectly we strive to do it, it is never enough! Before you know it, ugly things like resentment and dread and anger begin to creep in and guilt begins to reign. Why guilt? Because I was afraid I wasn’t showing Gods love enough. I mean these people were never happy! And it was all my fault.
See what a tangle grows when I let my thoughts masquarade as Gods? God wants me to do what He has planned for me. When I am doing it, He fills me with joy and fullfillment even in the stressful times. So when resentment shows up, I do a reality check, am I in tune with God? Reading my Bible, praying, sharing what He has done with someone else? If not, it is time to refresh my Spirit and begin again.
Micah 6:8 (one of my favoirite verses) says
“He has made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, and don’t take yourself too seriously — take God seriously.”
When I take God seriously, He seriously adds joy to my life, and enables me to do the things that I love. I think that is one the road to The Best Yes!